A Seed of Wisdom...A World of Change

It's easy to say "I trust God". I know because I have said it endless times and heard others do the same. However, to prove it is extremely difficult. So what would you do if God put you in a situation where you had to put your money where your mouth was? Could you do it? That too is a question all of us can easily answer when asked but none of us know for sure our true reaction until we are in the midst of the challenge. 

Who and What Defines You? 

It was 14 months ago I found myself smack dab in the middle of one of the greatest challenges I have ever experienced. Not the only great challenge because there have been others, but a life altering, "Are you listening, Maria?!?" challenge nonetheless. All of us go through challenges of this magnitude and they help to reveal how we define ourselves.  Do we stay down because we can't shake the victim mentality? Do we rise up again, although perhaps confused, instinctively knowing we will somehow figure it out? Or do we quickly rise because we are certain of God's love and His desire to grow us? My guess is anyone who is on a journey of true change will experience elements of all three. Think about life even when you aren't going through an extreme challenge. You have good days, bad days. Good moments, bad moments. It's just life. Your position or professional title, your address and even your net worth don't define you. Yet so often that is exactly how we define ourselves, as does the world around us. 

With Age Comes Wisdom

I have come to appreciate and gain a greater understanding of Job 12:12 "Wisdom may be found in the company of the aged. Understanding comes with longevity.". One of the gems of reaching your fifties and having family and friends there as well or even older is experiencing deeper, more insightful life conversations. You realize a whole lot of us spent way to many years concerned with what others thought or expected. Fortunately, God uses our personal challenges, some we bring upon ourselves and others that are a part of His divine plan, to further shape us. The shaping process in and of itself can be sorrowful and insightful all at the same time. You may have to face failures or set-backs. You have to accept what you couldn't control and even forgive those who knowingly or unknowingly hurt you in the process. Then comes the period of quietness where you stop speaking and just become mindful of the present moment in order to see and hear God reaching out to you through His Word and others around you. But the beauty of it all are the forever changes to your spirit, soul and body. If done right, we find ourselves wiser, stronger and more humble of heart after a great test. God's compassion and grace flow from us at greater levels than ever before to bless and comfort others. Even the grace we should all extend ourselves increases. 

His Perfect Timing

In 14 months our family experienced the death of a grandparent, 2 cancer diagnosis, a rare pancreatic disease, a pacemaker surgery, a child admitted to the hospital for severe digestive issues, and the loss of employment for me. On average, our family encountered a major life issue every other month for 14 months. Now I know we aren't the only family with this much to occur in a short period of time because whatever you or I are facing there will always be others facing more. But collectively as a family we had to decide how we would take on the trials before us. We came together as opposed to falling apart. God revealed to me in deeper ways than ever before how precious my siblings and father are to me. He proved to me how much of a fighter my husband, son, nephew, and brother-in-law were and how blessed I was to have my mother-in-law because my own mother is no longer with me and I miss her dearly. 

But most importantly, He showed me it is He alone defines me and resting in His divine peace would get me through anything I face in life. Even if on some days my flesh won out and panic attacks set in. He taught me how to be a blessing to the world even though I was down.

 In doing so, I worked Hurricane Harvey relief, I volunteered with Angel Tree to ensure children with an incarcerated parent still had a merry Christmas and I donated my expertise to the North San Antonio Chamber as they built an executive level Innovative Leadership program. And to top it all off, He allowed me to be accepted into the program where I met a partner with a local CPA firm which led to me receiving a job offer as their Marketing Director. 

Although my family's journey through the wilderness appears to be over (for now), I'm grateful God loved me enough to break me so He could rebuild me. I will never forget the precious days and months He and I spent alone communing and all He taught me during that time. Our God truly is a good, good Father!

The Day Devastation Changed Her Face

Early on in life we learn the meaning of the word devastation. We are taught it has the power to bring fear, disbelief, and mass destruction, along with the power to change lives forever. Her images flood our televisions, computers, and smart phones. Leaving us shocked by the destructiveness she possess when she sweeps by. For many of us, we are moved to action after seeing her which is why we witness strangers helping strangers and people donating money so relief supplies can be sent. 

This is my story of how I knew I needed to do more than just send money when Hurricane Harvey hit Texas, although I know the monetary donations my family made were critical I couldn't deny the pulling on my heart that said "Do more, Maria. You have the ability so do it". I offered my services to my church who has sent volunteers and supplies to numerous cities on the Texas coast since Harvey hit and the experience I encountered opened my eyes in ways I never expected. 

Our team of more than 100 volunteers rose under the cover of darkness in order to meet at 4:15 a.m. We loaded buses and headed south to Rockport to join Operation Blessing and Church Unlimited in their clean-up efforts. As I stared out the window, this trip felt no different then the hundreds I had taken before. That is until we crossed the invisible line. Once on the other side life changes and you hold tight as you realize you've just entered a reality you've never experienced before.  A hush filled the bus as our eyes stared at what laid outside our windows. With one glance, a sadness filled me and my eyes welled up with tears. I begin to wonder "How does someone live through this? How do they pick-up their lives and begin again?" But as the day went on the answer revealed itself. 


Multitudes
The streets were filled with volunteers who traveled from near and far. Some skilled workers but the majority of us having but one thing to offer - hard working spirits. There were volunteers to conduct clean-up and there were volunteers to help the volunteers, including making sure we were fed. So many details had to be addressed to pull this one day off. But that wasn't even the impressive part of it all. No, the fact this has gone on for weeks was the most powerful of realizations. Multitudes arriving and multitudes working together to slowly push devastation off her throne. 

Who was this multitude? On the day I volunteered, I didn't know them when we started. But by days end they had become givers of hope I would work alongside any day of the week. Did they come from perfect lives where they had nothing better to do then offer their time? No, quite the contrary. As we shared our stories throughout the day I realized we came from all walks of life. One had lost a spouse several years ago and volunteering was one of the things they loved doing together. "Now I volunteer alone", she told me. While another woman with dark piercing eyes stated, "My father died recently and I'm the only one left to care for my elderly mother. This is the first time I've left her alone since my father's passing". "I'm a missionary who has spent most of my life in South Africa and India", stated a third woman who was only 29 years old. "I'm unemployed and I want my gifts and talents to be a blessing somewhere", I told each of them. So no our lives weren't perfect, but we felt drawn to lay down our pain for a day so we could lighten the load and pain others felt.  

As we arrived at the first of three sites we would visit that day, the shock deepened as we stepped onto the property and begin to pick-up the pieces of what was once someones home - their paradise on earth utterly destroyed. Shattered glass and debris filled the yard. Furniture strewn about, a boat motor left on the side of a dock but the boat itself nowhere to be found. Family pictures faded from being in the rain, which we gently picked up and placed in a box along with other valuables so the owners would find them when they returned home. Downed power-lines made it difficult to clean-up fallen trees because devastation had intertwined them with one another, causing safety concerns for our team. 

As we traveled past neighborhood after neighborhood, the story repeated itself. I couldn't help but notice almost every tree was barren of leaves. As we passed undeveloped land naturally filled with countless trees, the scene resembled a haunted forest from a children's novel. Tall, dark, leafless trees that seemed to say "Enter if you dare". I wanted to ask, "Devastation how cruel are you that you strip beauty from God's green earth?". 

The One That Follows Devastation

So there it was...the day devastation changed her face. Nevermore would I say to her "I see you through the screen". Instead as of September 9, 2017 I would always say to her "I see you right before me, I have touched what you destroyed and seen what you do to man. However, I see and know the one who comes after you. He is strong and mighty, He is kind, He is a fighter and a giver of hope - - - He is Love. He flooded in before you even fully left. He tugged on hearts so a multitude of armies would rise to rebuild what you destroyed.

And although the road before us is long, Love will light the way.  Proving once again, no matter how much devastation fills this world Love is there and He shines bright. Reminding us that together we are stronger, wiser and will always rise again to stand another day. 

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